Monday, March 17, 2008

flyin' outa here!!!

My outreach team and I are off on outreach, flying out from Kalispell airport at 6:10 a.m. tomorrow, Tuesday, morning!!! I can hardly believe it! I am so excited, like jumpy at times, but also a little anxious and nervous--hopefully, the good kind of nerves.

- Please continue to keep me and my team in your prayers.
- That God gives me tons of wisdom and discernment in leading, dealing with other leaders, students, contacts, the church, and the local people.
- Pray that God just blesses our contacts and their family, and that we come as a blessing and with servants' hearts.
- Continue to pray for my finances, along with our team's (we are on a tight budget).
- That we would be filled with the joy of the Lord, share that with others, and laugh alot!
- That God would lead our whole team, and we would move in His strength!
- That God would open doors of opportunity, we would find favor with believers and non-believers alike.
- That we leaders would learn how to empower and release our students into following God's plans for us while we are there.
- That we would be hungry for and grounded in the Word of God, intercession, and worship--living to glorify God all the time.
- That God would bless our living arrangements and the plans He has for them (apartments and living with local families).

Thank you all for your love, encouragement, prayers, and support!!! It is so amazing to know that my friends and family's prayers are going before me and surrounding me in disciping young people and sharing the hope and love of Jesus Christ.

Blessings in Him.


Thursday, March 6, 2008

Woundedness and Blessing - Winter 2008 Update


I don’t believe this letter could even begin express the emotions I have been through in recent months. Let me say, it has been a very low, desolate valley physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I felt a bit of the valley described in Psalm 23 but also knowing the promises of God to be with me and comfort me. I am not trying to paint a hopeless picture, but I am trying to be honest with where I was to where I am now. There is such an extreme difference.

Please bear with the long length of the letter. Try to read it all—it begins with the present, upcoming outreach, important needs, and prayer requests, and then goes back in time to November, to bring more understanding.

Outreach in March:
I am heading on outreach to a Mediterranean country [e-mail me if you want to know which one] March 18 through May 15, and I am so excited for what God has prepared for me and my team! Please remember to keep me in your prayers during this time.

My Needs:
I also am short on monthly financial support. The initial monthly pledges I raised was enough to get started in YWAM last June, but I knew from the beginning that it would not be enough long term. Please pray about it, and if you feel that God is leading you to give either with monthly support or a special gift, e-mail me. If you are already supporting me, I so thank you for your continued sacrifice.

Outreach Prayer Requests:

- Continued health for me and my team.

- Continued healing of the wounds in my life.

- Wisdom and strength for me and the other leaders, Matt (MO) and Jon (MN), as we lead together.

- Team unity, compassion, encouragement, and boldness for members.

- Discernment into ministry opportunities.

- Divine appointments with the native people.

- Friends made easily and hearts open.

- Unity and one-mindedness as we love and serve the missionaries and the local church.

- Potential ministries: worship, music, dance, art, church service, Bible study, youth, women, orphans, hospitals, schools, teaching English, playing soccer, in the parks, visiting…

Season of Sickness:
I caught the flu beginning of November, was sick for three weeks, went to the doctor, was put on antibiotics, felt better for two days, and then I caught a cold. I went back to the doctor mid-December and found out I had mono! No wonder why I wasn’t getting better!

In November I ended my last month with the Fall Discipleship Training School running on empty. The Lord was so gracious to me during that time to give me just enough. My small group girls came back from their outreaches the end of January and are at their homes seeking the future God has for them. All four of my girls are pursuing further missions and in YWAM at this time—this is a rare and awesome circumstance! But praise be to God because He is calling so many of the 50 students in the fall school as missionaries (four students stayed behind in Thailand to continue further ministry). I am so proud of my girls—they have experienced so much freedom from the past and are growing closer to the Lord! How I love them!

Well, fatigue and illness continued as I began preparations in December for the Winter DTS. I did not have a chance to rest (to aide my recovery from mono) during Christmas break, but I did have wonderful opportunities to visit friends in my old hometown of Redding, CA and family in Minneapolis, MN and Menomonie, WI.

Season of Woundedness:

I came back to the base thinking I had all I could handle and just sought a few days respite before the Winter DTS began, only to open my dorm door and find my room flooded by a broken water pipe! I had to move my roommates’ and my things out for several days. Thankfully, there was little damage, and I got new carpet!

Season of Sustenance:

Winter DTS began while I was a mess, feeling so fatigued and emotionally fragile. I was to teach a 1 ½-2 hour session on Bible Meditation the first week of class and knew God was calling me to that, but I was burdened with so much with my wounds. Even through the dark places of January and part of February I saw God meeting my needs and being my sufficiency, giving me energy, wisdom, and the words, with my teaching, my interactions with the DTS, with my small group girls, and one-on-ones. It was a very, very difficult time and so hard to open myself up to be vulnerable, but God gave me discernment and His voice when I needed it.

I was set back with pneumonia the end of January, beginning of February and went back to the doctor for more medication. My leadership and I agreed that I should stay behind and rest the week of mini-outreach to Seattle, WA, first, because of the mono, and then because of the pneumonia. This was the only week off I actually had my whole time being sick, and it was so good to catch up on sleep and rest (I hadn’t slept well since before October). I also started taking a lot of vitamins and supplements to boost my defenseless immune system

Season of Healing:

It’s been really amazing to see how I have been blessed to connect with my girls. God has been such a faithful provider. I feel so content and at home every time I am in my small group or discipling my girls. I truly love it and have been given such a compassionate heart for each girl.

Season of Blessing:
If only you could see my girls through my eyes! Not only do I minister to them, they bless me so much by even praying for and encouraging me!!! Again, God knew just what I needed, understanding girls, who would receive well from me, but also who would give out of the love God is revealing to them.

I began to feel so much better in all areas of my life. Before I had felt that to even put on my dance clothes to dance was too much effort, but the last few weeks I have began dancing again! I have two girls from the dance track on my outreach team, so I am working a lot with them (a friend and I are choreographing dances). How I love dancing again and having the energy to do it!

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and support! I wouldn’t be able to do this without you! I am privileged with the greatest blessing of discipling and empowering students to pursue God and missions!

God bless,


Monday, March 3, 2008


Before earthly eyes knew you,
I formed you.
Before loving hands held you,
I designed you.
Before you laughed and cried,
Danced and played,
I desired to know you,
And for you to pursue me.

You are my desire,
Design, creation—
Made in Our image,
I in you, you in Me,
You were made to be.
We abide as One.

(SM 11.07.07 Written for a DTS Student)

~ John 14:16-20 ~
"I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
"After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also.
"In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.

~ John 8:12 ~
Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life."

God dances

“I am on the throne to worship,
but I get off the throne to reside with you.
I sing and dance with you.
You and I move about with so much joy—together.
Turning and jumping and throwing our arms in the air—together.
I have placed the song in you.
Hear the music in your soul and the dance in your steps.
I AM the Song, the Music, the Dance.” (SM 01.10.08)

Prayer in January 2008

This won't be a pretty song of eloquent praise to You because today I went from peaceful calm to disgust at my own humanity—my own rejection of You when I need You the most and know You will never forsake me—I choose to believe a lie in the midst of knowing the truth and seeing Your truth and power displayed in my life again and again. I seek forgiveness from this awful place. You are holy. You are worthy. You are truth and choose to act justly and righteously. I thank You, thank You for who You are—never changing all the time. You are a beautiful symphony, all instruments and melodies in Your hymn of praise. Glorify. Gratitude. Strength in my life. I simply say, “I give up control because You are the writer of the greatest song of my life! Not my own—but Yours!” Holy. Worthy. Nothing I imagined, but everything I’ve dreamed. Abandoned—upon the cross.

(Written during YWAM Community Meeting)