Thursday, May 6, 2010

Truly I Am His Daughter

Tonight during worship at our YWAM Montana Community Meeting God laid something on my heart, and I began to write. And I wrote and wrote. I wrote it all before Sam Dhuram spoke, except for the last four lines. I think it goes along with what Sam said, but it’s also very personal to me. Skip down to the italics if you want to just read the meat. ☺

This winter God re-phrased a statement for me that is so transformational. God did not just want me to know that He is my Father – that can be a pretty general statement we repeat because it says so in the Bible, and I should know that. But God wanted to demonstrate to me that I am His daughter! In other words, I was going to experience God treating me as His little girl! And He has been, oh how He has!

In the past few months God has been showing me new things and giving me new eyes. It’s a process, and it’s not over, but I’m excited for what I’m learning because it’s going to the depths of my heart. I have not only seen Him monetarily provide, but in February He healed me instantly from a really low state emotionally that I’ve been in this past year. It wasn’t a grand Holy Spirit moment either. It was like a click, like a switch turned on (I’ve heard of these stories that people talk about but never knew of one personally for depression), and I felt different, yes, instantly!

So here it is, what I wrote during worship, me being vulnerable in ways I don’t always like but feel led to share with you and that may speak even to your soul as it did mine. If you are a guy, please read this as His “Son” in place of “Daughter.” (If it’s not theologically sound, please forgive me. Hopefully, it’s from the heart of God, interpreted through my feeble mind and human hands, sifted through my emotion, and felt by my heart.):

“Without His permission and His creation, I would not be.”

Truly I am His Daughter

Intention, of devotion and desire, to love and knowing the power of love in relationship. And to be created with the ability to choose into that relationship – that makes the power of that relationship stronger, and that makes the power of that love so much stronger than any other in all the world! – Besides Your love example, of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which I am adopted into as a Daughter by Your decree, seeing me and knowing me as only Your True Daughter. How can I not be thankful, how can I not declare Your Glory, Your Majesty, that You chose to reflect in even a small way through me? – Oh, little me! Which You placed, not only in Your Heavenly City but in Your throne room, and not just at Your feet but on Your lap.

You turned my head up, not so I could see You but so You could see me – so You could look me in the eyes and declare me worthy of truly knowing Your love – to the depths of my soul – knowing You are my Father who does not reject me. But I so many times I rejected You – And You, still, saw everything I did to denounce You. You took the nails I pounded into your hands and feet, You took the crown of thorns I pushed into Your head, You took the spear I shoved into Your side, You willingly accepted the cross I placed on Your back – and You looked, not only at me but into me and said, not in anguish of sorrow but in anguish of love, “I’ll not only do this but more for you. I will take all your sins as My own.” Into death, the God who knew no sin declared to me, personally, “I who was clean, am clean no longer. I who was righteous, am righteous no longer. But I tell you that you are called holy and pure and no longer dirty and soiled. You are sinless because I took on your sin.”

And at that moment, He looked at me so He could see me and so He could love me. So I could see His love and so I could experience His love. So I could EVEN look into His eyes and see and even know that truly He is my Father and so that I could look into His eyes and see and even know that truly I am His Daughter.