The Waiting Cry

During School of Dance's Wednesday morning worship and intercession, I was sitting there frustrated with my seeming inability "to do" a great many things and my inability to do them right. And I had been reflecting on Ecclesiastes recently. I know that all my efforts to do a lot of things, to do things well, and to help a lot of people, these really don't add up to anything... "Doing things" doesn't make me a better person--in my heart--or closer to or more like Jesus. My efforts won't make others "know" Jesus. All my achieving will not "achieve" success. Does that make any sense? I eventually make mistakes and let others and even myself down. So as I realize more and more my inability, what am I left with? I am left with nothing of myself, but to lean on--NO, to even collapse onto the Father! I'm broken. I cannot hold myself up, but God can, and He so desires to! In His arms, my heart melts--is transformed--from the selfish shell it once was... My heart is refined into His heart, into His desires. And so as my heart is no longer mine--but His--it overflows with His character, the depth of His love and grace, His peace, hope, and faith. What overflows is blessings that are steady and constant. Blessings are to bless with; they are to bless others. So I do not "do" out of having "to do." But God overflows what He does to my heart, and how can I not reciprocate His heart? How can I not share His heart to those around me?! And that is why I "Go," why I even desire to go beyond my comfort zone, an easy life, a life of relying on my own efforts to provide for my sustenance and my protection, a life of relying on my own control. My breath doesn't just sigh but heaves and my heart tugs as I write this, out of deep desire I have. This is not easy for the shy, little girl from Northwestern Montana - it's a hard road, and maybe the hardest in my head. All the world's reason and responsibility stands against me. But still, I step forward. I follow my heart, for it's swept away by the One I love.

“I will not toil in the flesh

Or for vain things,

For this is futile, ‘a chasing after the wind.’”

~ Reflections on Ecclesiastes.

The Waiting Cry

By Shannon Mintz

June 16, 2010

Where’s the joy and what to do if I cannot strive?

Where do my efforts go…if anywhere—

Because all fades away?

See the homeless man,

The widow with no income,

The orphaned child who has no mother nor father?

A noiseless cry escapes from their lips—without words,

Because they do not know the words to use—

Nor what they are searching for.

But, this is still a cry for help;

This is a cry for hope—

For their affliction to be seen

And met.

And God cries with them, calling out for His children to answer,

“Will you go?

What will you do?

How will you live?

Will you work and give of what I have given you—

Of yourself and of your resources to reflect My glory?

So that even ‘the least of these’ may ‘hunger and thirst’ no longer?”

But the homeless man,

and widow,

             and orphan waited and waited,

And others died, and more waited,

For their cries to be heard, for their cries to be met—

And they continue to wait…

Today—they wait…

Truly I Am His Daughter

Tonight during worship at our YWAM Montana Community Meeting God laid something on my heart, and I began to write. And I wrote and wrote. I wrote it all before Sam Dhuram spoke, except for the last four lines. I think it goes along with what Sam said, but it’s also very personal to me. Skip down to the italics if you want to just read the meat. ☺

This winter God re-phrased a statement for me that is so transformational. God did not just want me to know that He is my Father – that can be a pretty general statement we repeat because it says so in the Bible, and I should know that. But God wanted to demonstrate to me that I am His daughter! In other words, I was going to experience God treating me as His little girl! And He has been, oh how He has!

In the past few months God has been showing me new things and giving me new eyes. It’s a process, and it’s not over, but I’m excited for what I’m learning because it’s going to the depths of my heart. I have not only seen Him monetarily provide, but in February He healed me instantly from a really low state emotionally that I’ve been in this past year. It wasn’t a grand Holy Spirit moment either. It was like a click, like a switch turned on (I’ve heard of these stories that people talk about but never knew of one personally for depression), and I felt different, yes, instantly!

So here it is, what I wrote during worship, me being vulnerable in ways I don’t always like but feel led to share with you and that may speak even to your soul as it did mine. If you are a guy, please read this as His “Son” in place of “Daughter.” (If it’s not theologically sound, please forgive me. Hopefully, it’s from the heart of God, interpreted through my feeble mind and human hands, sifted through my emotion, and felt by my heart.):

“Without His permission and His creation, I would not be.”

Truly I am His Daughter

Intention, of devotion and desire, to love and knowing the power of love in relationship. And to be created with the ability to choose into that relationship – that makes the power of that relationship stronger, and that makes the power of that love so much stronger than any other in all the world! – Besides Your love example, of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which I am adopted into as a Daughter by Your decree, seeing me and knowing me as only Your True Daughter. How can I not be thankful, how can I not declare Your Glory, Your Majesty, that You chose to reflect in even a small way through me? – Oh, little me! Which You placed, not only in Your Heavenly City but in Your throne room, and not just at Your feet but on Your lap.

You turned my head up, not so I could see You but so You could see me – so You could look me in the eyes and declare me worthy of truly knowing Your love – to the depths of my soul – knowing You are my Father who does not reject me. But I so many times I rejected You – And You, still, saw everything I did to denounce You. You took the nails I pounded into your hands and feet, You took the crown of thorns I pushed into Your head, You took the spear I shoved into Your side, You willingly accepted the cross I placed on Your back – and You looked, not only at me but into me and said, not in anguish of sorrow but in anguish of love, “I’ll not only do this but more for you. I will take all your sins as My own.” Into death, the God who knew no sin declared to me, personally, “I who was clean, am clean no longer. I who was righteous, am righteous no longer. But I tell you that you are called holy and pure and no longer dirty and soiled. You are sinless because I took on your sin.”

And at that moment, He looked at me so He could see me and so He could love me. So I could see His love and so I could experience His love. So I could EVEN look into His eyes and see and even know that truly He is my Father and so that I could look into His eyes and see and even know that truly I am His Daughter.

School of Dance Studies Update

SODS Staff, Students, & Guest Artist

Just wanted to give a brief update on the School of Dance Studies which I staff at YWAM Montana.

Our students are working hard with many classes! They dance a total of 13 1/2 to 23 1/2 hours a week, depending on if they are in the dance being taught that week! And I dance 13 1/2 hours a week also--I never imagined I would be dancing this much and can't remember the last time I did (probably not even that much in high school). I can say I love it, but I battle soreness quite often, as many of our students do also. Though it is getting easier. Most days I wish for a massage! Our students will be having final exams in anatomy and composition the end of March as that is the end of the quarter! I cannot believe how quickly the first quarter flew!

I taught a class called Excellence Versus Perfectionism. This class was to walk our students through what each of these are and that perfectionism is an unrealistic expectation, but God calls us to live excellently and I defined what that means. Dancers can especially battle perfectionism, and this can show up in symptoms such as eating disorders, exercise disorders, and depression. It was great to see some of our students identify perfectionism in their own lives, the negative lies they were believing, and have God speak truth to them so they live more positively and to learn how to walk this out in School of Dance and in life. This was a real highlight for me--I love seeing students being freed and understanding God more in their lives!

SODS Staff Choreography Practice - I'm on the left.

Another of my favorite things in School of Dance is my small group and one-on-one mentoring! I have three girls Tiia from three countries in my small group. We talk about all aspects of school and their lives. There is a huge opportunity for discipleship and growth because of the intense environment in the dance school, things come to the surface that need to be rooted out and worked on...and they WANT to work on their relationship with God, their character, and to know God more deeply! Despite some inhibitions and room for growth, the students desire to reach a dying world and to use the tool of dance to do so!

Some things I do when not in classes or meeting with students...A LOT! Currently, I am working on getting flights for our guest artists coming in. We usually have one guest artist per month, come out for a week, to teach dance classes and set a dance on our students. In February we had Lotte Haschke from Germany, who led the School of Dance here for 07-09 schools. The dance she choreographed in collaboration with the students. It was to depict the unity of the body of Christ, how we are each different body parts-individual, but that we are to work together in unity, complementing and supporting one another in Christ. It was really powerful and beautiful. It was amazing to see how far the students have progressed in their dancing, growing in confidence and in synchronization - all of which are difficult things! And I love how God can speak to us and touch our hearts through a dance! He is so creative, to be the Author of the human body and the Creator of art!

School of Dance Studies Starts!

Dear friends,

Youth With A Mission Montana's School of Dance Studies began Monday! I am excited, nervous, and anticipatory all at the same time, but God has given me a lot of peace for staffing this school. I am getting little glimpses of who the students are and their hunger to learn, and I will get to know them well during the course of this school, as God unravels the layers to who they are to be in Him.

One of my favorite parts of equipping missionaries through Y.W.A.M. schools is hearing their hearts for the nations and the visions they have to bring glory to God! One of our students from India could not come to the School of Dance in 2008-09 because he did not have the funds, but he is here now, blessed with a scholarship. He believes that music and dance are successful ways to today's youth and dreams to open a dance schools in his native land and further in Asia. He sees School of Dance as furthering his training in order to witness for Christ through this area of the Arts.

*If you could remember my students in your prayers, especially for unity, as they are representing many nations, and a eager desire to learn through the hard work. They are from India, Singapore, the U.S.A., Netherlands Antilles, Norway, Germany, Finland, New Zealand, and Rwanda.

Thank you friends for your care and investment in my life. I am truly grateful and couldn't do this without God using you. Bless you.

Untitled… You can decide.

By Shannon Mintz 
December 20, 2009

Composition brings control -
Yet neither come, but only a sharp staccato
beyond muscle and mind.
Movement crescendos into a palpitating flurry
not noticeable by the outer man
but fully arresting the inner presence.
Without Reason guiding activity, beats
increase and change
- -No knowledge of consequences,
And led by dive and flight, upon further exploration
- - Freefall - -
What caused exhilaration and addiction but
A big bang?

Is this work undone, unfinished, a fragment
left to the devices of cause and effect?
Or is it a transformation, accepted for its brief jump,
as the tide ebbs and flows
or the volcano erupts?
But beauty descends - captured by a creator.
The partial is filled with belief.
The caterpillar still awaits in the cocoon -
The unknown is yet to be known.
Hope is out to jury.

little bird...part 3...the fall

By Shannon Mintz
November 2, 2009

little bird...fly too high,
then come crashing down again.
when will she ever learn?

her wings aren't light as air-
instead they're tarred feathers.
her flight isn't with angels,
but impeded by the fall.

slow little bird...dragons at her back,
singed and smoking tail.
careening to the earth below...
or is it lower still she plummets?

Little Bird...Part 2...Singing Lessons

By Shannon Mintz
October 15, 2009

Little bird,
learning to chirp.
Little bird voice -
does it squeak or wail?

Is it for the finding out -
of attention or sustenance?
Or of bringing food to the beak...
or a song to the dawn?

When will bird learn how to sing
a symphony of song?
But--why? when? where? who?--
Are these questions that matter?

Is it for the quiet of an empty forest
or for a choir of blended voices?

Is it for the crowd of rushing pedestrians,
for the audience watching theatre thespians,
or for the contentment of bird's own-self-choices?